He’s Not Prepared for An Union. Will He Actually Ever Change?

Reader Question:

This guy and that I have now been chatting for about three years. We’ve got never been in a relationship but I have been close on a number of events.

Recently I wished to pursue a commitment. The guy had gotten angry at myself and explained he’s not ready. He quit speaking with myself for a few days. I told him so long as our friendship will last, a relationship is not important.

Do you believe he will probably ever change? Can I wait around for him?

-Shakia (Massachusetts)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Shakia,

He will not change any time you remain equivalent. All his requirements are met here. He’s no reason to get in an enchanting connection if he can get all the benefits and never having to dedicate.

The guy even tried you by cutting-off interaction for a few weeks. And also you came working back to retain the outdated, unfulfilling friendship.

My guidance: simply tell him demonstrably as he’s ready to have a genuine, committed, connection, he should phone you, but until then, you’re unavailable.

Then do not get weak and let him pull you back in the existing system. No texting. No contacting. No Facebook stalking.

My impression is this isn’t the guy for you personally, but this relationship is somehow keeping you against meeting a truly great guy.

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